Early in our marriage, whenever my wife confided in me about a troubling situation, a challenging relationship, or an anxiety-riddled dilemma, my initial reaction was to fix her problem. I mean, that’s love, right? What damsel doesn’t want a knight in shining armor to rescue her from distress? Why else would she share her problems with me, anyway?
Leaders fix problems. Or, so I thought.
A counselor told me, “Brent, just jump in the mud with Becky. She wants to be heard, not saved.” Huh? Obviously THIS guy isn’t married. But, as he instructed me to allow my wife to freely share hurts and struggles, I saw her out of the corner of my eye nodding (emphatically, I might add) in agreement.
I don’t fix problems for others anymore, because I learned a valuable lesson.
fix problems listen. And, get muddy. (137 words)